Worried about someone else's drinking?

If you’re worried about someone else’s drinking, you’re not alone. Drinkaware research in 2024 found that almost three out of ten UK adults (28%) felt concerned about someone else's drinking in the last year.¹

But how can you be sure that your concerns are well-founded, and - if you want to talk to them about it - what’s the best way to approach it? There’s no doubt that it’s a sensitive subject, but there are steps you can take to help a friend or family member. Watch the video below and read on to find out more.

Spot the signs 

It isn’t always easy to tell if someone you care about might be drinking in a harmful way. But as someone close to them, you can be well placed to recognise changes in behaviour that show someone is drinking in a way that risks harming them and others around them.

Here are some signs to look out for:

• Breath smelling of alcohol during the day

• Being secretive or dishonest about how much alcohol they’re drinking or buying

• Not being able to say no to alcohol, or to stop at one or two drinks

• Appearing drunk more often or having to drink more in order to get the same effect

• Seeming tired, unwell or irritable for no apparent reason

• A lack of interest in regular activities, prioritising any occasions to drink instead

You might also notice they have physical signs like seeming tired, unwell or irritable, feeling anxious or depressed, or having trouble sleeping.²

Someone showing these signs could be drinking in a way that is harming their physical or mental health. If someone isn’t able to control their drinking and, they're prioritising it over other things in their life such as family and work, and they’re experiencing unwanted physical or mental effects from their drinking it’s possible that they're dependent on alcohol.³

Many people don't know if they are drinking at a harmful or hazardous level themselves. But with the right support, it’s possible to improve health and wellbeing by cutting down or stopping.⁴

Research has found that amongst people who drink alcohol, the more they drink the more likely they are to feel dissatisfied with life.⁵

How to prepare

If you’re worried about someone, you might decide to discuss it in confidence with another person you trust first. It’s worth deciding who you think is best placed to have the conversation with the person you’re worried about. It can help to prepare before raising your concerns.

• Consider whether you're the best person to have the conversation, or whether someone else may be better placed.

• Choose a suitable time when you're both calm and neither of you has been drinking.

• Be ready to listen without judgement. The more you listen, the more someone will feel comfortable to open up. Listening reflectively and using open questions can help maintain rapport and empathy.⁶

• Have information about support options available if they ask for help.

• Remember that change can take time, and they may not be ready to talk straight away.

Alcohol can contribute to low mood and also to feelings of anxiety.⁷

Acceptance

A person’s relationship with alcohol can be complex and tied to a number of emotions, like depression, social acceptance or coping. It’s not easy for a person to acknowledge, admit or accept that their drinking could be harmful to their health and their relationships. They may not want to, and they may not be ready.

But acceptance is a big step in someone’s journey toward change. That’s why it’s important to be patient, keep your conversations open and avoid judgement.

If someone has physical withdrawal symptoms (like shaking, sweating, or nausea) before their first drink of the day, it can be dangerous to stop drinking too quickly without proper support. Get professional advice before stopping if you notice these symptoms.⁸ 

Ready to have the conversation?

Talking to someone about their drinking can feel difficult. If you feel ready to raise your concerns, we have advice on how to approach the conversation, what to consider beforehand, and ways to keep the discussion supportive and non-judgemental.

How to talk to someone else about drinking

Get support

If you are concerned that you or someone you care about has a drinking problem there is help available.

Someone you care about’s drinking can negatively impact your own mental health and everyday activities too. You may feel some anxiety and stress, blame yourself or feel unable to cope – so it’s important to prioritise your own safety and mental health and the safety and wellbeing of your children, if needed.

It can help to talk to someone you trust, who is unaffected by the situation – whether that’s a friend, relative or a confidential support line.

Drinkaware's support services include:

• DrinkChat, where you can speak confidentially with a trained alcohol adviser.

• Support lines, offering confidential information and guidance.

• The Alcohol Support Services Finder, which can help you find free and local alcohol support services in your area.

You don't have to cope alone. Support is available both for people who are worried about their own drinking and for those concerned about someone else's.

Alcohol support services